*Free Stuff Alert*
Free Vintage Vantage 'stache belt for best comment completing this sentence:
In my free 'stache belt, I'll stash ____.
Contest ends Friday.
(Click on any 'stache to see more about these fannypacks from the future.)
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
'Stache Belt Giveaway
*Free Stuff Alert*
Free Vintage Vantage 'stache belt for best comment completing this sentence:
In my free 'stache belt, I'll stash ____.
Contest ends Friday.
(Click on any 'stache to see more about these fannypacks from the future.)
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16 comments:
In my free 'stache belt, I'll stash my sweet new VV business cards, some extra underscores, and some tea, for tea-baggin!
In my free 'stache belt, I'll stash my superexponential functions wearing electric collars, and skippyhaha.
In my free 'stache belt, I'll stash spare change I find, some snackage, and protection cause you never know when the time will strike you like chris brown
In my free 'stache belt, I'll stash 'stache grooming apparatuses, a photograph of my woman, 007 Golden Eye for Nintendo 64, and of course, what is a stash belt without a bona-fide stash, even if it is simply filled with gum. or pixie sticks. or gobstoppers. or weed. just some ideas.
In my free 'stache belt, I'll stash some cash, some trash, and a DVD copy of M*A*S*H.
In my free 'stache belt, I'll stash a can of beer, ski mask,wad of stolen cash, and keys to my motorized bar stool.
In my free 'stache belt, I'll stash my stache
In MY free 'stache belt, I'll stash the 'stache belt I stole from my buddy. Until I realize there's no need for two 'stache belts. Unless you have two sets of hips... which has got me thinking, it would be quite "hip" to have two 'stache belts.
In my free 'stache belt, I'll stash my batarang and bat grappling hook...and also my bat chapstick.
In my free 'stache belt, I'll stash your stash and my stash, but if we get stopped by a cop with a thick black stache, I'm bailin' with all the stash.
in my free 'stache belt, I'll stash an iou
In my free 'stache belt, I'll stash my inadequacies. (and Kleenex)
In my free 'stache belt, I'll stash an orangutan. I'm not talking a little monkey or some some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a fucking orangutan. Don't ask me how I'm gonna get a fucking orangutan, that's not my problem. So the orangutan's name is Clyde. This is non-negotianable, all orangutans are named Clyde. I don't know why that is, it's just how the world works. So me and Clyde become man (and ape) about town. We're seen everywhere together, we make the scene. We go out in big groups. We talk loud, we laugh louder. Every time I say something witty I high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz. It gets back to my ex. "Did you know the guy with the orangutan?", "You used to date the guy with the orangutan?", "Why would you break up with a guy with an orangutan?" Next thing I know she's calling.
"I'm hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime." "Geez I dunno, me and Clyde were going to go to a monster truck race tonight. (orangutans love monster trucks) In fact the whole social calender seems kinda full. I tell you what, I'll make a little note (what was your name again?) and maybe I can squeeze you in." "Oh, well you know my number so don't be a stra-" "Hey look at the time! I gotta skate, Clyde's making Mojitos'."
At this point the upper hand is mine. I can let her twist in the wind, or I can draw her back into my life at the pace I decide. Whatever, it's my life. But if I'm a smart man, I'll slowly phase her back in. I'm IM'ng. I'm talking on Live. I get invited to family functions. I bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. We're one big Brady Bunch.
Then the orangutan fucks her mother.
In my free 'stache belt, I'll stash my delicious twinkies that make the world go round.
In my free 'stache belt, I'll stash my hopes and dreams and a fake stash to throw the cops off the trail of my real stash.
*WINNER ANNOUNCEMENT!*
It's Friday and you know what that means - somebody's getting a free stache belt. These answers are off the barbed wire fence and it's so hard to pick just one, that's why we're picking 3.
1. WUlery - for thinking ahead enough to fake out the po-po.
2. Lydia See - for reading and remembering a line from "ask heather."
and
3. CalebYourMaster because snackage obviously needs to be hidden from view.
Thanks to alla yalls for playing, better luck next time, no hard feelings, no hard orangutans, rub some dirt in it, we'll give something away free in the next week or two so come on back, okay?
!Winners! - email Customer Service Guru James (vintagevantage@hotmail.com) with your address and your stache belt will come a-flying.
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