Got a couple fun new light bulb jokes for ya:
How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Hippies don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in sleeping bags.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Some number you've never heard of before.
Heard any good jokes recently? Best joke posted in the next couple of days gets a free shirt!
11 comments:
Q: How do the Germans tie their shoes?
A: In little Nazi's
(still not laughing? lets try this again)
Q: Where do the Germans hide their Armies?
A: In their Sleevies!
haha ok ok well i tried
Two dyslexics walk into a bra...
How many athiests does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. Atheists never see the light.
How many Freudian psychologists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, one to change the bulb and one to hold the penis. I mean ladder.
How many mothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
"Don't worry about your mother. You go have a good time. I'll just sit here in the dark. Alone."
... ever wonder what happened to the testers for Preparation A through G?
Q: What do you get when you cross the Atantic with the Titanic?
A: Halfway
Q:What do you call 100 rabbits in a line taking a step backwards?
A: A receding hare line.
Q:How many kids with A.D.D does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride bikes?
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The driver says: "That's the ugliest baby i've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You tell him off, i'll hold your monkey."
There's this drunk guy walkin down the street and runs into these two nuns and punched one in the face and kicks her while she's down. Then in triumph he screams " you're not so tough are you now, batman!"
A pirate walks in to a bar and the bartender says hey "you've got a steering wheel in your pants" and the pirate says "argh and it's drivin' me nuts"
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
rape..
Duck walks into a bar, bartender says "whaddya want?". Duck says, "I'll have a sandwich". Bartender says "This is a bar, we got beer, liquor and pretzels". The duck gets up and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns to the bar. Bartender says "whaddya want?". Duck says, "I'll have a sandwich". Bartender says "Didn't you come in here yesterday? I told you this is a bar, we got beer, liquor and pretzels". The duck gets up and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns to the bar again. Bartender says "Whaddya want?". Duck says, "I'll have a sandwich". Bartender says "Look pal, I already told you twice. This is a bar, we got beer, liquor and pretzels. If you ask for a sandwich again I'm going to nail your bill to the table!". Duck says "Got a hammer?" Bartender says "Nope", Duck says "Got any nails?", Bartender says "Nope, beer, liquor, PRETZELS!".
Duck says "I'll have a sandwich."
congratulations mhegedus! your titanic entry wins a free shirt! get in touch w/ us and we'll hook you up.
awesome! now comes the hard part...picking out a shirt. I will contact you via the regular website, is that cool?
THANKS!
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