Why Don't They Bring Back... Baby Wee Wee!

In this ongoing series, we'll be featuring products from back in the day that remind us of our childhood. Or, in the case of Baby Wee Wee, products from back in the day that creep us out. Not sure how this one got past the focus groups, but it's an anatomically correct boy doll whose penis moves and squirts water. What the hell. Check the below post for a couple videos.

Baby Wee Wee Videos

Draw Us a Picture of a Peanut!

Calling all artists and pencil owners - we need your help! We want to make a t-shirt called "Peanut Gallery" - the idea is to have an assortment of picture frames filled w/ drawings of peanuts (see below). But as you can see, we don't have any drawings of peanuts yet! That's where you come in - we need you to draw us a picture of a peanut or peanuts for one of these frames. Be as creative as you please, the only requirement is that the peanut is somewhat recognizable and you don't use more than two colors (due to screenprinting limitations). But otherwise, go nuts! Uhhh, yeah. Hit us up on our contact form and we'll tell you where to send the drawings... if we end up using your drawing on the shirt, we'll send you one of the shirts for free when they're done!

Top Shelf Essay Contest Winner!

Do you remember our Top Shelf Essay Contest? It works like so - write a 468 word essay telling us why you or somebody you know really, really deserves to have one of the shirts in the Top Shelf. (We appreciate and consider all corroborating evidence backing up your story, including scanned photos, ticket stubs, affidavits, certified documents, etc.)

If your essay convinces us that you've found it's rightful owner, we'll send you the shirt. In return, we ask for nothing more than a photo of the owner and the shirt - together at last, together forever.

Well, we've got a new winner! T.C. won the Wiz shirt with the following unorthodox entry:

Thirteen Ways of Looking at the Wiz T-shirt
A parody of Wallace Stevens' "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird"
(and not an essay)

I.
Among 322 hopeful vestments
The only worthy one
Was the brownie-hued Wiz t-shirt.

II.
I was of two arms
Like the Wiz t-shirt
Of which there are two armholes.

III.
The tag slept against my neck, soft, fraying
It was a small part of the t-shirt.

IV.
My jeans and my shoes
Are one.
My jeans and my shoes and the Wiz t-shirt
Are one.

V.
I do not know which to prefer,
A crackling logo under my fingertips
Or a thin poly-cotton blend at the slope of my shoulder,
The anticipation of this t-shirt
Or just after.

VI.
Fog crept across the cool of the mirror
With three dots of toothpaste.
The chubby off-white letters
Distorted as I tugged at my ponytail
My forearm hairs
Lifted in delight
This elusive garment draped across my chest.

VII.
Oh, skinny hipsters in cyberspace
Why do you imagine this garment on your frame?
Do you not see how it
Enjoys riding the curves
Of my 5'9", 150?

VIII.
I know woolen jodhpurs
And sumptuous, velveteen overcoats;
But I know, too,
That a cocoa Wiz t-shirt
Is involved in what I know.

IX.
When the Wiz t-shirt was won,
It marked the ending
Of a life scarred with disappointment.

X.
At the sight of the Wiz t-shirt
Bannered across my proud breast,
Even the mall-chain consumer moms
Would cry out in delight.

XI.
My pencil skittered across the paper
With a pensive amusement.
Once, a doubt clenched me
In that I mistook
My creative angle to the t-shirt essay contest
For pompous irreverence.

XII.
I am writing an arduous poem parody.
The t-shirt must be a desperate obsession.

XIII.
It was summer all winter.
It was temperate
And it was going to be temperate.
I shed my jacket
To expose my bare Wiz t-shirt.

--T.C.

Congrats T.C.! Everybody else, send those essays in!

Is This Shirt Too Much?

So we just finished the Panty Christ shirt you see over there on the right. The problem is, our showroom doesn't want to sell it - they think it's too much.

Now, we love our showroom, but we disagree with them on this - we think this shirt is too good to go unprinted. Can you let us know what you think?

Click the "see more blog entries" link on the right there to see the entire shirt and cast your vote in the handy little poll.

Blank Ringers for Two Dollars and 50 Cents Each!

If you're wondering.... yes. We've lost our goddamn minds. We're selling our blank ringers for $2.50 each! That's 4 for $10! 6 for $15! 31 for $77.50!

These shirts are spun from the same buttersoft-y loveliness as the rest of our shirts, but we've discontinued the ringer style and are selling every last one of them for rock bottom prices because honestly, we're tired of looking at them in the warehouse.

We're quickly running out of these (duh, they're only $2.50) so act fast if you want to get your size and your friend's size. Click here for mens and here for womens. Boom!

Vintage Vantage Swears by.... Todd Snider

We love Todd Snider! He's a truth-spewing troubadour hobo poet, and you should check out his Myspace, check out his live show next time he comes to your town, and check the below post for a video of his new song America's Favorite Pastime.

Here's the lyrics:

Dock Ellis didn't think he was pitchin' that day back in 1970
when he and his wife took a trip to the ballpark a little bit differently
so by the time he hit the bullpen half the world had melted away
thats about the time Coach Murtaugh came and said Dock your pitching today

taking the mound the ground turned into the icing on a birthday cake
the leadoff man came up and turned into a dancing rattle snake
the crowd tracked back and forth in waves of color underneath the sun
that ball turned into a silver bullet his arm into a gun

chorus: i took a look all around the world one time finally discovered
you cant judge a book

three up three down for three straight innings in a zero zero tie
as all them batters names came ringing from a voice out of the sky
hallucinating halloween scenes each new swing of the bat
his sinker looked like it was falling off a table but nobody was hallucinating that

chorus

by the top of the seventh he was up one to nothing and giving them padres fits
by the bottom of the eighth he was up two to nothing and they still hadn't got any hits
with one out left to go in the game the batter looked like a baby child
the birthday cake was shaking them waves of color was going wild

when he finally mowed the last man down he was high as he had ever been
laughing to the sound of the world going around completely unaware of the win
and while the papers would say he was scattered that day he was pretty as a pitcher could be
the day dock ellis of the pittsburg pirates threw a no hitter on LSD

chorus

Todd Snider Video

Hide Your Arms!

Hide Your Arms still loves us! Check out their recent blog post about our new site here. And if you search their back issues, you'll find some more VV lovin'. Thanks y'all.

What You Learned Today #2

For the last few years, we've been asking all you Vintage Vantagees what you've learned today. Here are some more of our favorite answers:

Don't have sex in a hammock when you don't know where your dad is.

Squirrels aren't to be trusted.

That a guy walking around with a cute little dog is a smart guy.

Aviator sunglasses make EVERYONE look sexier.

It doesn't pay to tell a Mexican cop that you don't appreciate being shaken down.

"Learned" isn't the same thing as "lit on fire."

Carl doesn't want to go out with me.

It doesn't matter how big your titties are.

Leave a comment and let us know what YOU learned today...

Throwdown #2!

Gotta give it up to our Dranks shirt - it crushed the competition in the first VV Throwdown. As such, it's only 12.50 for the next week, so scoop it up while you can. But now it's time for Throwdown #2 - Is this the Punch Line? vs. Your Mother's an Astronaut. Click below to see the shirts in action, and cast your vote below.... whoever gets the most votes will spend a week priced at only 12.50. Hot damn.

A Brush W/ The Strokes

Check out Albert Hammond Jr. of the Strokes in a Kiss Me I'm Loaded shirt from Vintage Vantage. Rock star status... I guess inside-out is the new outside-in.

Please send us any pics you have of you or your friends or your friend's favorite rock stars wearing VV and we'll post them here...

Thanks to Perez Hilton for the photo.

The Love Bandits at Burning Man!

The Love Bandits felt right at home in Black Rock City, NV. Check the below post for the video.

The Love Bandits Video #3

The Love Bandits At Burning Man! from john keddie on Vimeo.

We've Been Spotted!

German t-shirt blog Shirtspotting did a writeup about us yesterday. Now, we don't speak German, but we're pretty sure they love us. Click here to read all about it.

A sampling: Dort gibt's neue Motive wie die obigen. Die älteren sind aber auch gut.

Our sentiments exactly.

Throwdown #1 - Dranks vs. Inner Children

Welcome to the first ever Vintage Vantage Throwdown! Here's how it works - every week or so, we'll release two new t-shirt designs, and let all a y'all blog readers pick your favorite of the two. Whichever shirt gets more votes will then go on sale for only 12.50! For a whole week! Here's the first matchup: Dranks vs. Inner Children.

VV Swears by... this Chromeo Video

We can't stop watching Chromeo's video for Momma's Boy. It's like living, breathing clip art. Check the below post to see what we're talking about. Cool song too, we suggest you go see Chromeo in person if you get a chance, them crazy Canadians have no problem inciting a serious dance party.

Our favorite song is still "Me and My Man" - you can listen to that one here.

Momma's Boy by Chromeo

Cottonability

Cottonable wrote about us in their blog yesterday, which was nice of them. Want to know what they said?

Well.... click here to find out. In unrelated news, the first person to post a reply telling me what kind of car that is over on the right gets a free t-shirt!

VV Myspace - Revamped!

Our myspace page has a whole new look! Check us out here - be our friend, leave a comment, make us laugh - we're giving away free t-shirts for the "Comment of the Week" so being our friend definitely has benefits.

Big thanks to Patrick at An Idea Design for his help making this page a reality. Hit him up if you want a makeover for your own page, he's a badass.

Featured on Funky Duds!

Our Glow in the Dark shirt was featured on the blog Funky Duds today... FD is a fun website that features t-shirt awesomeness daily. Plus they've got a special discount code you can use at Vintage Vantage... you can check out the direct link to their post here.

Meet the Models - Erika

We just posted another model profile, meet the lovely Erika:

Name: Erika

Modeling Style: Scalding Hot

Favorite finger: The thumb

Favorite word for lingo: Jargon

Sometimes pretends: That she's an alien spy

Wonders: If the thumb counts as a finger

Check out all the models here.

Vintage Vantage Swears By... The Flaming Lips!

Santa clauses, aliens, giant plastic bubbles, confetti guns, balloons - there is no spectacle quite as spectacular as a Flaming Lips show. And their music ain't bad either... Check out our buddy Frosty (in our gringos shirt) w/ Wayne to the right. Then check out some tunes on their myspace.

Do you Realize lyrics:
Do you realize that you have the most beautiful face
Do you realize we're floating in space
Do you realize that happiness makes you cry
Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Curious Nacho #1 - Baby Capes

Curious Nacho likes to look at the many things on ebay, sometimes he asks questions about them. For example...

Hello! I am thinking about bidding on your Canada Pillow and I was just wondering if you think that I could make a cape for a doll out of it? The doll is like the size of a baby. It is for a play about Canada that my son is in. Also are trees in Canada full of syrup. Thank you for your advice, Nacho.

Hi. I think the pillow would make a cape for a baby. If not large enough, you could put a border around it. I listed the size in the description. Take the size and find a piece of fabric and fit it on the doll that way you can get an idea of how it will look. I have no idea what you mean by are the trees in Canada full of syrup. I do not live in Canada; I live in the Chicago area. Trees on the pillow are green. Hope this info helps. If you have more questions, send me another email. I leave for work today at 7:30 and get off at 6:00 so won't be home until 7:00 p.m. Hopefully I will be home in time to answer questions if you have more. Have a great day.

Original item description:

Ask Heather #2

Dear Heather,
If you were a glass of water, and you were on fire... would you pour yourself out??

Workin for the weekend,
Javier

Dear Javier,
I can't see how a glass or water could be on fire, but yes.

Keep it fresh,
Heather

Got a nagging question? Ask Heather. She knows.